Session 8:
Understanding ourselves - Part two
Session overview
Session Eight is about helping pupils reset or reframe their thinking based on the work completed last time. Studies of the brain show that focusing too much on problems can elicit the brain's fear response and hamper the ability to find solutions. In contrast, positive emotions broaden the thought-action repertoire, expanding the range of behaviours and helping to develop the psychological resources to utilise in any given situation. The session focuses on identifying limiting thoughts and replacing them with positive alternatives, thus enabling any situation or experience to be viewed through an alternative lens — figuratively placing it within a different 'frame'. Doing so acts as a valuable precursor to the final two sessions, which introduce the process of Appreciative Inquiry (AI) as a mechanism to work through challenges associated with change and transition by clearing the path of negative or self-limiting beliefs.
A. Session aims & objectives
Consider the qualities and characteristics we value in ourselves and others.
Explore what influences our relationships and the impact of this.
Compare and contrast the behaviours and effects of the inner critic and inner friend.
Learn to treat ourselves with kindness when we make mistakes and provide internal encouragement to increase our success.
B. Learning outcomes
I can explain the qualities that I value.
I understand what makes people important to me and why.
I can identify self-limiting thoughts and reframe them positively.
I know that failure is often a necessary and valuable part of the learning process.
C. Resources required
❏ Kwan's story comic
❏ Slide pack for Session Eight
(note: some activity slides are blank for you to make use of as you wish)
Session title
Learning outcomes for Session Eight
Starter Activity — Three good things review
Activity 1 — What makes a good friend
Friendship is...
Activity 2 — My inner characters
Activity 3 — Banishing our inner critic
Activity 4 — Adapting Kwan's letter
Plenary — Kwan's letter homework task
Recap learning outcomes for Session Eight
❏ Resource Sheet 4a: Letter to Dad - previously completed
Starter activity: Three good things - review
Creating a positive environment to enable pupils to explore the concepts covered during Session Eight is essential. Doing so starts by encouraging them to think about the positive things in their lives.
Recap and review ground rules as a class. Discuss any that worked well and any that didn't – do they need to change? Make amendments if required. Ensure pupils are clear about why ground rules are used and why they are so important.
SHOW:
Slide 2: Learning outcomes for Session Eight
Slide 3: Starter Activity — Three good things review
Invite a few pupils to share something good that has happened to them over the last week.
ASK:
Why did this good thing happen?
What did it mean to you?
How can you make it happen more often?
Be careful not to put anybody on the spot, make them feel uncomfortable or force them to share.
Activity one: What makes a good friend?
As pupils prepare for the transition to a new school, it's useful for them to become more aware of how friendships are formed, on two counts: Firstly, it helps to focus thinking around the qualities that are important in a good friend. Secondly, building on their work around identifying the inner critic and the inner friend, thinking about friendship helps them consider their own behaviours and what it means to be a friend. Broadly, the activity aims to bring out the following ideas:
Like Kwan, people are not inherently bad but sometimes act up (they may even recognise occasions when they have).
We should try to be tolerant but also challenge poor behaviour appropriately.
The people we spend our time with often have the most significant impact on us, so it's important to choose our friends wisely.
EXPLAIN:
As a whole class, we will agree on a list of the qualities that are important to us when we meet new people.
ASK:
What makes a good friend?
What are the qualities we look for in good friends?
Produce a list of the qualities pupils come up with under the title 'What makes a good friend?'
Activity two: My inner characters
An effective way to help children tame their inner critics is to compare and contrast the impact and behaviours of the inner critic and the inner friend. In doing so, pupils should be encouraged to choose to adopt the perspective of their inner friends. Once again, it may be difficult for pupils to examine their own views objectively immediately, so the work they previously completed in Session 7, Activity 1 might provide a useful reference point.
EXPLAIN:
We will draw our inner friends and critics, describing them and their characteristics, including appearance and any special skills or powers they may have. You can depict them in any way you choose. They do not have to look like people. I want you to think about the list we have just created to show what makes a good friend and then apply this to create a picture of our own inner friend.
Working in pairs, discuss and then note their responses to the following questions:
How does your inner friend look?
What do they wear?
What do they say?
What do they think of you?
How does that make you feel?
Give pupils a few minutes to talk about and draw their inner friends.
EXPLAIN:
We now know what our inner friend looks like, so let's contrast that with how our inner critic might appear to us. Once more in your pairs, discuss and then note your responses to the following questions:
How does your inner critic look?
What do they wear?
What do they say when you've done well or done poorly?
How does that make you feel?
Give pupils a few minutes to talk about and draw their inner friends.
As a group, discuss the impact of these two characters. Encourage pupils to think of ways to tune into the voice of their inner friend, which they should also link to the work completed on growth mindset.
Activity three: Banishing our inner critic
Now that pupils have identified their inner critic, taking steps towards quieting this destructive critical voice should be easier. At the very least, pupils should be able to reach a mutual understanding and form a truce with it, though, of course, banishing it altogether would be ideal. The critical thing, however, is that pupils have learned to recognise this voice. Often the inner critic's origin is the voices of authority figures: parents, teachers, coaches and well-meaning peers. It acts as a substitute for these people, using every discouraging remark as a way to protect them from future hurt or disappointment. The inner critic imitates potential negative commentary from the outside world and uses it to keep us from doing anything that might invite further criticism.
EXPLAIN:
We are now going to change the dialogue in our heads. Look at the pictures you drew of your inner critic, particularly the things it was saying.
Ensure these statements originate from the inner critic rather than the pupils themselves. Focus on one particular thing that each pupil noted.
For example: "I am so stupid" should be written as "You are so stupid."
The point here is to ensure that the inner critic, as a third party, is saying these things, not the pupil.
EXPLAIN:
Now write a response to these criticisms that starts with "I" and includes a kinder, more compassionate evaluation of yourself.
For example: "I am not stupid. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm not going to listen to you anymore. I sometimes struggle with some things, but that's OK because new things are often challenging at first. Everyone finds something a little tricky, to begin with, but I can get better at it with practice and perseverance."
Pupils should be encouraged to vocalise these responses or write them down. If appropriate, ask some pupils to speak their compassionate statements out loud to the rest of the class.
Activity four: Adapting Kwan's letter
Pupils are once again challenged to put themselves in Kwan's position, applying what they have learned about positive language and mindset to his feelings about going to live with his Dad. This event provides a helpful metaphor for any significant change that someone might go through. Use it to broaden the discussion to consider the move to secondary school and how they might approach it.
SHOW:
Slide 8: Activity 4 — Adapting Kwan's letter
Hand out previously completed Resource Sheet 4a: Letter to Dad
EXPLAIN:
Think back to Session Four, where we wrote a reply from Kwan, which focused on why he should not move home, which might indicate Kwan has a fixed mindset about this. Look again at the scene where Kwan gets a letter from his Dad (p.12). In small groups, work together to find one or two phrases/sentences demonstrating Kwan's fixed mindset.
Pupils should review the scene and prepare a list of the phrases/sentences they find. As a class, briefly discuss pupils' ideas to ensure that everyone has some source material from which they can complete the homework.
Teaching tip
Encourage pupils to use a different coloured pen as they review their work, crossing through and changing their letter in order to describe the positive aspects of moving (e.g. examples of Kwan showing a growth mindset). This will help them to identify where they might have previously adopted a fixed mindset.
Plenary / Homework: Kwan's letter homework task
It's helpful to provide pupils with an opportunity to reflect and articulate what they have learned. Writing a letter is a great way to test understanding and create an opportunity for pupil reflection.
EXPLAIN:
For homework, you will redraft the letter completed during Session Four challenging yourselves with the following questions:
How might Kwan reframe his views about moving?
How can he use a growth mindset and tune into the voice of his inner friend to do this?
What are the positive aspects of moving?
What could he focus on to feel better about dealing with such a change in circumstances?
We will review this work in Session Ten.
SHOW:
Slide 10: Learning outcomes for Session Eight
Recap the key learning outcomes in the light of today's discussions.
Delivery resources
Lime 2021-22 Y6 S8 Checklist.pdfChecklist
Lime 2021-22 Y6 S4A Resource Sheets.pdfResource Sheet(s)
Lime 2021-22 Y6 S8 Slides (PDF version).pdfSlides (PDF)
Lime 2021-22 Y6 S8 Slides (PowerPoint version).pptxSlides (PowerPoint)